Support for care leavers who are parents or expecting a baby
If you are a care leaver and are pregnant, getting ready to become a parent, or already have a child or children, we will support you and your family. We do this as your Corporate Grandparent. We will:
- support you to do the best for your child
- help you arrange childcare, if this is something you want
- take an interest in how your child is doing
- help you find the right support for you and your family
- help you connect with other young parents, such as Somerset Young Parents
- help you build the skills and confidence to be a good parent
Your worker can also help you get advice about:
- childcare support
- benefits
- grants you may be able to get, such as the Sure Start Maternity Grant if you are on a low income
At the beginning
Having a baby is easy to talk about, but being a parent is a big step. It can be very rewarding, but it can also be hard work and stressful at times.
If your pregnancy was not planned, it is important to know that you have choices. You can take time to think about what feels right for you and whether you feel ready to become a parent. You should never feel pressured by other people to make a decision. This is your life, and the choice is yours. Your worker is there to support you, whatever decision you make.
Being a parent takes skills, learning and support. Along with lots of love, babies need a safe, stable and caring home so they can grow up healthy and happy. We know that babies can be affected if parents are arguing a lot, using drugs or alcohol, or feeling very low and finding it hard to manage their emotions. Getting the right support can really help.
Babies can also be expensive, so it is important to understand how to manage your money before they arrive.
Babies do not come with instructions. That is why we want to make sure you have the right help, advice and support to become the best parent you can be.
Support groups for young parents
Before your baby arrives, you and your partner can join a small group for young parents called “Bump, Baby and Me”.
This group will help you learn important things such as:
- baby first aid
- what to expect during birth
- bathing your baby
- keeping you and your baby healthy
The group is run locally by a Health Visitor, Midwife and Young Parent GetSet Worker. It also helps you meet other young parents and feel less alone. All care leavers who have been to this group say they felt more confident and better prepared when their baby arrived. If you need help getting to this group, speak to your worker.
After the birth, you can keep coming to the group to:
- have your baby weighed
- learn new parenting skills
- chat with other new mums and dads
Each week covers a different topic, such as:
- budgeting for healthy food
- baby massage
- relationships
- making memory keepsakes
- play and bonding
You can also attend this group before your baby is born.
One care leaver said: “Attending the group has been my lifeline. I would be lost without it.”
After your baby is born
As a young parent in Somerset, you will be part of the Young Parent Programme and have access to a dedicated website. The website has helpful information about staying healthy and parenting before, during and after pregnancy, and as your child grows. It is for both mums and dads.
We know that building trusting relationships with professionals early on can really help new parents grow in confidence, skills and knowledge. Once your pregnancy is confirmed, your Young Parent Health Visitor and Specialist Midwife will give you extra support. You will have access to lots of useful information and professionals during your pregnancy and after your baby is born.
Extra support
You might also get support from a professional who can help with things like routines, play and bonding. Speak to your Health Visitor, who can arrange this for you.
We can also lend you a practice baby doll while you are pregnant. This can help you and your partner build confidence with holding, dressing and bathing a baby. If you would like to borrow one, speak to your worker.
Keeping your home safe for your baby
To keep babies safe, they need a home that is clean, tidy and safe. Living in a home that is messy or unsafe can put babies at risk of getting hurt, for example through falls, choking or poisoning. It can also affect their emotional wellbeing if their needs are not met. To help keep your home safe, you can get a free home safety check from the Fire Service. This is available to all new parents in Somerset.
The safety check can include:
- stair gates
- cupboard locks
- smoke alarms
- carbon monoxide alarms
- general safety advice for your home
Your Health Visitor will talk to you about this and can arrange the safety check for you. This can be done just before or after your baby is born.
If your current housing is not suitable for a baby, for example if you live in shared housing, it is really important to speak to your worker as soon as possible. They can talk through your options and help you plan what to do next.
Drugs, alcohol and pregnancy
Drinking alcohol or using drugs while you are pregnant can also cause physical problems for your baby. That is why it is really important to ask for support as early as possible. Your Personal Adviser can help you find the right support to reduce any risk to your baby.
We know that drug and alcohol use can affect children in many ways. It can change how you respond to your baby, affect your bond with them, and make it harder to keep them safe and manage money and responsibilities. Being a parent can be stressful. If drugs or alcohol are the only way you feel able to cope, please know that help is available. You can talk to your worker or contact Somerset Drug and Alcohol Service, who offer confidential support.
Getting support can help you keep yourself and your baby safe and help you become the parent you want to be.
One care leaver shared: “Seeing Somerset Drug and Alcohol Service each week helped me deal with my drinking so my baby would not be harmed. Now I don’t need it or want it.” (Care leaver, age 20)
Keeping you and your baby safe
We know that domestic abuse can happen more often during pregnancy and after a baby is born. From pregnancy onwards, babies and children can be seriously affected by arguments, shouting, and seeing someone they love get hurt.
Even very young babies can be affected. They may feel scared, upset or unsafe. Sometimes children can also be hurt by accident when arguments happen, or when they try to protect you. Even if your child is not in the room, hearing arguments can still frighten them.
Abuse is not just physical. It can also include:
- Controlling money
- Being very jealous or possessive
- Stopping you from seeing friends, family or professionals
- Taking your phone or checking your messages
If your partner hits you or hurts you in any way, this is abuse.
If your partner forces you to have sex, this is abuse.
If you are worried about how your relationship might affect your baby, it is really important to ask for help. Support can help keep both you and your baby safe. Please speak to your worker as soon as you can. They are there to support you and help you be the safest and best parent you want to be.
One care leaver told us: “We didn’t realise how much our arguments were affecting our daughter because she was so little and often asleep. With support from Leaving Care, we’ve learned how to communicate better so she can grow up feeling safe.” Care Leaver, 19
Finding out about a partner’s past
If you are worried about your partner’s past and how this might affect your child, you can ask the police for information.
- Sarah’s Law lets you ask if someone has a record for sexual offences against children
- Clare’s Law lets you ask about someone’s history of domestic abuse
You can phone 101 to ask for this information yourself, or ask your worker to help you.
One young person said: “I wish I had known about his past earlier. Now I understand why everyone was so worried about me and my baby.” Care Leaver, 20
Extra support
You can also get help from SIDAS. They have specially trained advisers for young people. They will not judge you. They will help you understand what is happening and support you to break the cycle of abuse, so you and your child can feel safe.
A young parent told us: “I felt embarrassed and ashamed, but the worker did not judge me. She helped me see that what was happening was abuse and that I deserved better. My child and I are safe now.” Young parent, 19
Social Worker Assessments
Sometimes, when you are pregnant or after your baby is born, the law says that a social worker may need to carry out an assessment.
This can happen if:
- There are worries about your relationship
- You have had a child removed in the past
- You need extra help to make sure everything is safe
It is completely understandable to feel worried or scared about this. Many people do. But an assessment can also be a positive thing. It gives you the chance to talk about what support you might need and helps you work towards being the best parent you want to be.
The relationship you have with your baby’s social worker is very important. Try not to avoid them. Being open and honest with them helps them understand you and support you better.
One care leaver told us:
“I was so scared that social services were going to take my baby away. I now wish I had asked for help earlier, as it would have meant fewer delays and less worry about whether I could parent safely.” Care Leaver, 20
Another said:
“I don’t think we would have been able to parent as well as we did without this extra support.” Care Leaver, 18
Bonding with your baby
The bond (also called attachment) between you and your baby is one of the most important parts of their emotional development. This bond helps your baby feel safe and loved, and it can affect them right through to adulthood.
Bonding starts while your baby is growing inside you and continues to develop during the first 3 to 6 months after they are born. Your baby needs to bond with you first before they can build strong bonds with other people. You are their main carer.
Talking to your bump or your baby is really important. It helps your baby feel close to you and supports their speech and emotional development as they grow.
Breastfeeding can also help with bonding. It gives your baby important nutrients and antibodies that help protect their health. Some parents also find it helps them feel closer to their baby.
One care leaver told us:
“I only planned to breastfeed for a couple of days and felt unsure at first. I kept going, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s brought me closer to my baby, and I now want to continue until she’s at least a year.” Care Leaver, 20
Another said:
“I wish I had breastfed from the start. It would have felt easier and helped me feel more confident sooner.” Care Leaver, 18
Looking after your emotional wellbeing
Being pregnant can affect how you feel. Changes in hormones can sometimes make your mood dip. If you have felt low in the past, you may be more likely to feel low again during pregnancy or after your baby is born. Eating healthy food and getting some gentle exercise can help. Learning ways to manage your emotions is just as important. Some people find mindfulness helpful. Practising mindfulness each day during pregnancy can help you feel calmer and can also help after your baby is born. You can speak to your Health Visitor about mindfulness and ask about apps that might help you practise it.
Looking after a baby can be tiring and stressful for any parent. Lack of sleep can make things feel harder and can affect your confidence. Even very experienced parents can find this difficult. If you are feeling low during pregnancy or after your baby is born, it is really important to ask for help as soon as possible. Feeling low can affect you and your baby, but support can make a big difference. You can talk to your Personal Adviser, midwife, Health Visitor, or doctor. You will not be judged for asking for support.
Getting advice and support is a positive step. It shows you are doing your best for yourself and your baby, and it can help you become the parent you want to be.
Contraception and STIs
Having a sexually transmitted infection (STI) while you are pregnant can affect your baby’s health. In some cases, a baby can also be born with the infection.
As part of your regular appointments, your midwife will offer routine STI checks. If anything is found, treatment will be given before your baby is born to help keep you both healthy.
Even though it might feel too early or too late to think about contraception, it is important to plan ahead. After you have had your baby, your body can become more fertile very quickly. This means you could get pregnant again sooner than you expect. Your midwife can talk to you about contraception options and help you plan safely. Some types of contraception, such as implants or other methods, can be arranged before you and your baby leave hospital.
You can also get contraception through:
- Your doctor (GP)
- SWISH (Somerset Wide Integrated Sexual Health) – Phone: 030 124 5010
If you need help arranging this, you can ask your worker to support you.
Budgeting and money
Budgeting is an important life skill. Once you learn how to manage your money, it can help you for the rest of your life. When you become a parent, budgeting becomes even more important. It helps make sure essentials like rent, bills and food are always paid for. Getting into debt can cause a lot of stress and may put your home at risk. As a parent, it is important that your child has a safe and secure home and that their needs are met.
Babies can be expensive, but it is possible to meet their needs on a budget. Second-hand clothes and baby equipment are often cheap or even free. They are usually in good condition because babies grow out of things quickly. There are also organisations that may offer grants or free baby equipment. Speak to your Personal Adviser or Health Visitor – they will know which local services can help.
When you have a baby, your benefits may increase. You may be entitled to extra money whether you are working or not, including Child Benefit. You can find up-to-date information about benefits, including Universal Credit, on GOV.UK. You may also be able to get a £500 maternity grant just before your baby is born. Your midwife will give you a MatB form so you can apply for this from 26 weeks of pregnancy.
If you are finding money difficult to manage, or are worried about debt, speak to your Personal Adviser as soon as possible. Getting help early can make a big difference. You can also get free, confidential advice from Citizens Advice. They are experienced in helping people who are struggling with money and debt, and you can find them in most larger towns across Somerset.